Christmas Shouldn't Be Spent Alone
by Shadow Ice Maiden
Summary: I hate Christmas. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m no Scrooge. I’m all for giving and family and snow and stuff. It’s just…I can’t stand the bloody couples all over town. Yes, I'm single. Yes, I'm bitter about it. Amuto Christmas fic. R&R please!


SIM: Hey everybody! I'm back, with a Shugo Chara fic this time! I hope you guys like this. I'm planning on a multi-chapter fic so this is mainly a warm-up to get used to the characters a bit and to bust my writer's block…

And yes, I realize it's nowhere near Christmas. The idea just sort of… popped into my head.

Disclaimer: I don't own Shugo Chara. If I did, Amu probably would have jumped Ikuto by now…

Warnings: Kind of ooc I guess, a little on the AU side, spoilers for chapter 43

Ages

Amu= 20

Ikuto= 25

Yaya= 19

Nagihiko= 20

Kukai= 21

Utau= 22

Rima=20

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**Christmas Shouldn't Be Spent Alone**

I hate Christmas.

Now don't get me wrong; I'm no Scrooge. I'm all for giving and family and snow and stuff. It's just…

I can't stand the bloody couples all over town.

Honestly, couldn't they just get a room? Do they really have to be on every corner staring into each other's eyes and acting all lovey dovey?

Yes, I'm single. Yes, I'm bitter about it. So sue me.

And that's not even mentioning the bloody Christmas specials on TV, one of which I'm oh so masochistically watching right now. And crying. And drowning myself in chocolate and ice cream. I'm pathetic…

It wouldn't be so bad if I just _chose_ to be single. There are plenty of guys that would date me in a New York minute. It's just… I can't.

I just _had _to fall in love with that perverted cat, who I haven't seen in eight years and may never see again. I'm 20 years old, living in my own apartment (well… mine, Rima's and Yaya's…), in college, and still carrying the torch for a guy who has probably found a new somebody to spend the holidays wrapped around in Italy, or France, or wherever the hell he is right now…

I hate Christmas.

And so, I bawl my eyes out at _It's a Wonderful Life, _while all of my friends are out partying at Utau's Christmas concert. Yes, I could have gone. In fact, I probably should have gone, if only to support Utau. But…

I'm a coward.

Ninety-nine percent of the time I can deal with my friends being the lovey dovey couples they are. Kukai and Utau are so cute together, and Nagihiko and Rima were made for each other. I'm happy for them, seriously…

I just really _really _hate being reminded of how utterly pitiful my life is.

And I can't stand the concerned, sympathetic looks they give me. They know exactly what, or whom I should say, brings out mopey Amu in the first place.

Sighing, I close my eyes, snuggle into the sofa cushions, and try my best to just not think about anything. The darkness of sleep consumes me, and in my dreams, as always, he's there. And I let my fantasies ease the painful loneliness, if only for a little while.

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I wake up hours later in my bed, sun streaming in thorough my window. I wonder for a moment how I ended up here, since I know I fell asleep on the couch. Oh well. Nagi probably carried me in here when he and Rima got back from the concert. I sighed and snuggled into my warm pillow.

Hold the phone…

Pillows aren't warm… or firm… and they definitely don't smell this good…

I open my eyes to see blue. Lots of blue.

"Oh!" I gasp and recoil from the chest I was just snuggling into. And then my heart stops. There, laying next to me in my bed, in all his blue haired glory, is the dumb alley cat I spent Christmas Eve crying my eyes out over. Wearing a big red bow with a tag that said 'To: Amu. From: Santa."

Now I know I'm dreaming.

There is absolutely no way Tsukiyomi Ikuto is in my bed in my apartment wearing a big red bow. No way in hell.

He smirks and shoots me a playful "Yo."

"'Yo?' Seriously? My imagination must be rusty." Is what brilliantly spills out of my mouth.

Now he looks confused, and I must say, it's absolutely adorable.

"I'm sorry?" he asks, one eyebrow raised.

"I'm dreaming." I state simply, in hopes that acknowledging it'll let me wake up and get back to my dreary miserable Christmas… On second thought, I'll take dream Ikuto.

"Your dreams usually involve waking up to find me in your bed?" he teases, smirking that classic Ikuto smirk that only he can make absolutely infuriating and absolutely enticing at the same time. But this is a dream, right? No use getting mad at a dream.

So I answer honestly. "No. Usually just you in general. Though beds have made an appearance here and there."

His smirk gets wider. "Really now? And I here I thought Amu Hinamori was so innocent. Who's the perv here again?"

I frown. "Hmm… my dream Ikuto's usually aren't this talkative.

He frowns too. "You really think you're dreaming?"

"No. I know I am. Because there's no way you're actually here."

"And why's that?" He looks skeptical and just a little bit concerned. Great, now even my dreams are worried about me.

"Because that would just be too good to be true." I whisper, once again completely truthfully.

"Amu, you aren't dreaming. I'm really right here." I want so much to believe him. But as soon as I do, I know I'm going to wake up alone and it'll hurt ten times more than if I stick to reality.

"Now that's not really convincing. That's what you always say." I reply, still clinging to 'reality.'

I feel his forehead touch mine. Our noses are practically touching. This can't be healthy.

"I don't know how to convince you." He breathes. A shudder runs up my back. His face gets even closer. I can barely breathe. And then…

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I gasp and my eyes snap open as my back hits the floor. I'm staring at the living room ceiling, my right leg still half way on the couch. And I burst into tears.

Why does my subconscious hate me so much? Can't I dream about being unprepared for finals, or walking into class without pants on or something? Do I really need to torture myself like this?

"Amu? What's wrong?" I freeze. I can't seriously still be dreaming, can I? I don't think I can handle another dream. And yet, as I remove my hands from my face, it's _him _standing over me.

"Everything!" I explode. "Everything's wrong dammit! I'm a fucking masochist and my mind won't leave me alone and you're not here and it's _killing _me! It's killing me, Ikuto!" and I burst into a fresh round of tears.

I feel his arms wrap around me and I sob even harder for it. One arm is around my waist and the other stroking my hair.

"Hey, shhh. I'm here Amu. I'm right here." He tries to calm me down. I'm not having it.

"No you're not! You can't be!" I scream back, not in the mood to be complacent.

"And why can't I be?" His voice is stern, but still gentle. And realer than any other dream I've ever had. It'd be so easy to just believe, to just go along with it and enjoy it while it lasts.

No, I can't. My sanity couldn't take it.

"Because you never are! Every time I wake up and you're not there. You're never there!" I punctuate 'there' by bringing my fist down on his soldier. It actually connects. My fist stings. Wait a sec…

And with that I'm out of his arms and across the room, tears forgotten in favor of utter shock.

There's no way. He can't actually be here… can he?

He gets up and turns to face me where I'm pressed up against the opposite wall. A confused look paints his face.

Oh shit.

He really is here. He's here and I just… acted like a total mental patient for one thing. And admitted that I dream about him.

He approaches me warily, probably afraid I'm going to go off on him again. I compose my features into my patented 'cool n spicy' look, despite my puffy eyes and red face, and it appears to reassure him that I am over my moment of insanity.

"So I take it you missed me, huh?" he teases, folding his arms and shooting me that damned smirk.

I hmph, fold my arms, and turn my face away, though my blush deepens a shade. My obvious discomfort seems to amuse him. He crosses the space between us silently, but to me it seems more like a tiger stalking his prey.

"If it makes you feel better," he begins, placing his hands against the wall on either side of my head and bringing his face far too close for comfort, "I missed you, too."

I continue to give him the cold shoulder, still feeling embarrassed. "How'd you get in anyway?" My voice, surprisingly, did not shake or break at all. Sweet. He chuckles and pulls me to the couch by my arms, sitting down with me sideways in his lap, completely ignoring my question.

"Don't be embarrassed, love. Every dream I've had in the last eight years has been about you."

And with those words, my 'cool n spicy' persona crumbles. I never really could keep it up around him anyway. Even before I loved him. Right now, nothing else matters accept him. He's here, in my apartment, on my sofa, and for the first time in eight years, I feel completely whole. Like the last piece of the puzzle is finally in place. I refuse to acknowledge how girly and pathetic that sounded.

Silently, I struggle to right myself, sitting up and, consequently, straddling his legs, and wrap my arms around his neck, burying my face in his shoulder. He laughs and wraps his arms around me, crushing me to his chest. I don't mind.

"How come you always know what to say to me, huh?" My voice is muffled by his shirt, but I know he can hear me. He shrugs.

"It's a talent." He chuckles and kisses the side of my head. I sigh and pull back to look at his face. He's smiling softly at me. Not smirking, actually smiling. It's contagious. I can't help but smile back. This time, when he kisses me, I don't wake up.

The door opens and I barely notice until Kukai shouts, "He you two! Get a room!"

Ikuto and I pull apart but not far. I laugh as Utau stomps on his foot and gives him her trademark glare. They all look at me funny.

"What?"

"You actually laughed." Rima replied, still surprised. I face fault.

"You don't have to sound so shocked." I grumble and climb off of Ikuto, who oh so graciously greets everyone. As everyone goes to sit down around the tree, getting ready to open presents, Ikuto comes up behind me and whispers in my ear, "Merry Christmas."

I love Christmas.

"And I guess this means I win the bet, huh?"

He just had to ruin it…

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SIM: Ok, so there's my very first Shugo Chara fanfic. Not exactly how I pictured it… And I didn't really mention what happened to the Chara's at all. I guess it's almost AU even…Sorry… Anyways, review please!

P.s.- Rereading it now, some of the scenes seem kind of like scenes from _Twilight…_ I promise you that was totally unintentional. I honestly did _not_ mean to do that… -_-;


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